When You Smile
by nilvisk
Summary: Stan and Kyle have been apart for three years, Cartman and Shelly are living together, and Kenny is living on another continent. Things couldn't be any further from how they used to be, but when Kyle and Stan become roommates they find the clocks can't go back, and the road ahead is more than just left turns. Style.
1. Prologue

**Hi there! This is my very first south park fanfic :D I kept repeating the first sentence in my head and couldn't relax until I wrote this. This is the prologue in Stan's POV, but I think the rest of the story will be in third person. It's short, but it's only the prologue. Enjoy! (btw this will be Style)**

* * *

I can't remember when my dad stopped smiling. Maybe it was the day mom finally moved out, maybe it was the day I left to go to college, or it could have even been the day he had to sell the house and move in to an apartment in Denver; far away from me, mom and my sister. The date doesn't matter, though, what matters the most is the day I came home for Christmas during my first semester.

I hadn't told my dad I was visiting, I liked keeping things to myself, a trait I would soon find out was passed on to me from him. So when I parked up outside my old childhood home to see some strange man walk past the living room window I was shocked, to say the least. Dad was the first person I called.

"Dad, what the hell is going on?!" I didn't even give him a chance to say hello.

"What're you talking about, Stan?"

"Either we're getting robbed or you finally invited someone over."

"Owww, shit, Stan, are you sitting down?"

"Just get on with it dad."

"I sold the house last month." And that's how I found out. Looking back, perhaps I should have expected this kind of shit. You see, my dad is the master of shit, if he isn't talking shit or doing shit, he's either up on stage shitting his britches or taking the biggest piece of crap! Needless to say, he's full of shit, what good could possibly come from not telling your family you sold the house? Anyway, he pulls shit like this all the time, so I shouldn't have been surprised.

Shouldn't. But I still was. I didn't return to South Park after that. Mom had moved all the way to Florida to be closer to me, Kyle is up at Brown (of course), Kenny is in Poland, and Cartman is living with my sister (don't ask) in Nebraska. And now my dad is no longer there. He's in Denver.

When I left South Park, I didn't know if I would ever return. I haven't so far, but if I learnt one thing it's you can never predict the future. It would take a miracle to even get me inside Colorado again though, that Christmas was the last time I visited him. If I tell you that my graduation is next month, that will give you some idea how long it's been. I haven't made the effort with him, and he hasn't made the effort with me.

It's sad, it sucks, but that's life.

* * *

**Hopefully this chapter sets the scene/story, and gets you to understand roughly where the characters are now :) I would have wrote more but it's 2am xD please leave reviews, I'd love to know what people think of this or if I should continue~**


	2. Friends Forever

Stan lay on his bed, headphones buried deep in his ears and his feet tapping to the soothing music, eyes closed. He wasn't really listening to the lyrics, just concentrating on the tune and the steady beat. It was repetitive, unchanging, safe. A stark contrast to the reality he was escaping from.

In just a few days, he would lose everything. This wonderful sanctuary, a (temporarily) debt free life. The moment he graduated, he would have to move in with his mom, and the clock would begin ticking until he had to start paying back all his loans, meaning he would have to take any job he could get. It didn't help that Kyle never shut up about his promised internship as a software engineer at Facebook. Stan laughed bitterly. Of course, Kyle wasted so much time on that site that it was only fitting for him to work there too.

He then began to wonder if maybe he was that predictable. Maybe Kyle was laughing ironically at the thought of Stan flipping burgers, then coming home and hanging up his Wendy's uniform in the hallway of his mom's house. Maybe he was always destined for this, to end up single and working in a place with the same name as his old ex-girlfriend. Just life's way of kicking him in the balls, again.

At least he and Kyle were still friends, everyone else he had cared about had fucked off (except his mom). Fuck them, he thought, but instantly regretted it... The world didn't revolve around him, and he loathed to think that way. That was something Cartman was capable of, not him. Still, he couldn't help but feel like he had been dealt a shitty hand by God.

The music faded out, being replaced by loud and determined bangs on his dorm room door. Annoyed, he pulled out his headphones.

"What the fuck, Mark?!"

"Wow Stan, where did my cute little brother go?" It was not Mark.

"Shelly?"

"Yeah, dick, let me in." Sighing, Stan got up off his bed. Once she pushed past him in to his room, she dropped her bag. "Who the hell is Mark?"

"Boyfriend." He smirked at her expression, if the bag was still in her hand he would have been slightly worried.

"BOYFRIEND?!"

"Chill!" He laughed. "I'm kidding." His laughing stopped as she relaxed again, but there was no lingering smile there on his face. He picked up her bag and threw it in his closet, not caring about how she might react. It had taken a while, but he had eventually stopped being scared of her (almost) when her head gear got removed and she stopped physically venting her frustration on him.

"What are you doing here anyway? Nebraska not good enough for you?"

"Dick." She had also stopped calling him turd too. Unfortunately for him though, his new nickname was no better. "Nebraska's not that bad, you know. But whatever, I'm here for your graduation."

"You're two days too early."

"I thought it would take longer to drive here, so deal with it." Stan just sighed at this.

"I don't know where you're going to sleep."

"Did you forget I have an RV? Mom's going to be staying in it too, when she get's here."

"Oh great, my last few days of freedom and I have to spend it with my family."

"Shut up dick, you're starting to sound like dad." That shut him up. He lay back down on his bed and shut his eyes again. "Anyway, I'm not going to stick around your sorry ass for longer than I have to, I'm going out." He didn't answer her, but she didn't expect him to.

The door shut behind her and everything was silent. She was wrong, he was nothing like his dad. He was a childish, depressed, selfish asshole. Stan was not.

* * *

Stan was sat under a tree on campus. It was his last full day here. He knew he didn't have to stay until graduation, but he decided to drag it out a little bit longer and put off the inevitable. During his time there, he constantly complained about it, but he knew he never meant any of it.

He stood up from his spot under the tree and began his last walk around campus, knowing it would take up the rest of his day as it was so huge. He smiled faintly, unable to not link a memory to every place he looked at. They were happy memories, of course, but there was a faint hint of sadness to them now he was going to be leaving them behind. It still felt unreal to him...

Once he reached the football field, he stopped. As much as his dad had wanted him to, he never pursued a career in the sport. He loved running, he loved working out, he even loved watching sport which, now he thought about it, was probably the reason why he wouldn't play it, it would take away the shine of supporting his team if he were to play for it.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to see one of his few friends here at USF, Marcie.

"Hey!" She greeted, hugging him. "Whatcha doing all the way over here?"

"Just reminiscing, I guess." He shrugged. "I didn't think I would, but I'm really going to miss this."

"Really? I'm surprised, I always thought that would be me, but I don't think I'm going to miss this place one bit... At least not for a while. Aren't you excited to go home?"

"Uh... No... I don't have a home."

"Sorry?"

"A home is where the heart is, right? I don't have a home."

"Honey, I'm not going to miss this place, but I will miss the poetic depressive shit you constantly spew out." She gave him a wink and a playful shove.

"Oh shut up." He laughed and pushed her back, starting to walk again. She walked with him.

"So, is Kyle coming for your graduation?"

"I hope so."

"I bet he will, you were there for his."

"Yeah." Stan smiled nostalgically. That was a good day, Kyle seemed really happy, so he was happy too. "He has his internship, though."

"Oh yeah..." Marcie frowned for a moment. "Well, it's going to be on a Saturday, I'm sure Facebook will give him the weekend off."

They sat down near the bull statue, sitting in silence for a while.

"Hey, Stan."

"Yeah?"

"Kyle makes you smile."

"Of course he does, he's my best..." He laughed. "Super best friend."

"Wow, I'm never going to get over how gay that sounds."

"You're just jealous."

"That I am. I wish I had a friend as close as that."

"Not Mike?"

"Mike's my boyfriend, it's different."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, we started dating not long after we became friends... If, hypothetically, you and Kyle hooked up, I'm sure nothing could tear you apart." Stan shifted uncomfortably, but she carried on. "Me and Mike, though, we might not make it."

"Sure you will, if you love each other enough..." But he knew she was right, a relationship with no foundations crumbles easier and faster.

"Maybe." She smiled up at him. "Stan, sometimes, I wish you weren't gay. I don't mean that in a homophobic way, but... Well you know what I mean." It was no secret that, in the beginning, she had settled for second best.

"Hah. Sometimes I wish I wasn't too." His laugh was strained, remembering the problems this caused for his and his dad's already damaged relationship. "Maybe then, you would have been good enough for me." He winked, she just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Ouch, you heartless bastard, gender shouldn't be an issue." She nudged him with her elbow. He knew they probably would have been almost unstoppable, their friendship was pretty strong. It still paled in comparison to his and Kyle's, but it's the closest anyone has ever got and, let's be real, nobody could ever replace Kyle in Stan's life.

"Oh come here, I'm going to miss you." She said after another moment of silence. She hugged him, and they stayed like that for a few moments before she sighed and pulled away, facing forward once more and resting her head on his shoulder. "Friends forever?"

"Friends forever."

* * *

**If you were wondering, Marcie is an original character and I actually have my own original story for her haha. I was just writing this and she just decided to walk in, so it's not my fault xD she's a bit more of a bitch in my original story... Anyway, hopefully this wasn't too short :D and yes, gay!Stan is my headcanon, since I read an interview with Parker where he said if any of the kids would end up gay, it would most likely be Stan ;3 so it's pretty much canon lol.  
**


	3. Super-Best

_"Oh come here, I'm going to miss you." She said after another moment of silence. She hugged him, and they stayed like that for a few moments before she sighed and pulled away, facing forward once more and resting her head on his shoulder. "Friends forever?"_

_"Friends forever."_

* * *

Stan stood in front of his dorm room door. This was it. He turned around and looked at his bare room one last time before sighing and turning back to face the door. He placed his hand on the handle and turned it.

"Honey..."

'Oh great,' Stan thought to himself as he dragged his bag and suitcases out the room, shuddering as the shutting of the door echoed in his mind. 'Mom's going to cry...' Sure enough, his mom pulled him in to a tight embrace and he could feel her body shaking with the tears.

"Mom, you're gonna get my gown all wet..."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She sniffed and pulled back, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. "You look so handsome! I'm so proud." She looked as if she could burst out in tears again at any moment, so he tread lightly.

"You look good too, mom." He smiled and she gave him a watery grin, taking some of his luggage and gesturing to Shelly to do the same, who only protested a little bit.

Once the bags were safely locked in the RV, they were silent for a few moments, standing awkwardly. Sharon stepped forward and readjusted Stan's cap.

"Honestly, Stan, anyone would think you were brought up by wolves..." She mumbled as she fussed over his appearance. He huffed in response.

"Let's just go, the ceremony is quite a way from here and I want to be early..." He decided not to carry on with what he was saying, he wanted to be there early just in case Kyle showed up. He didn't want to see him in the crowd and actually nearly cry on stage, as hard as it was for him to admit that he would get so emotional over the sight of his super best, and what it would mean to him.

Eventually, they reached the gathering of other students. He made his way over to the building where he knew his friends would be waiting, but only one other person was there as early as he was.

"Stan!"

"Fuck face." He acknowledged with a smile, giving Mark a manly hug. "Others not here yet?"

"Clearly." He was about to answer back to that, scowl already set on his face, when his mom and sister caught up to him. "Hi Miss Kimble." Mark greeted her with a smile.

"Hi, Stan's friend!" She smiled awkwardly, it would take her a while to get used to not being called Mrs Marsh anymore.

"Mom, this is Mark." Shelly scoffed, remembering their conversation from the other day.

"Well it's nice to finally meet you..." Stan stopped listening then, he had turned around and spotted a familiar bush of wild red hair. Without another word, he ran over to it.

"Stan!" The redhead barely got his name out before being pulled in to a tight bear hug.

"Kyle! You came!" He was grinning wildly, refusing to let go. Kyle said nothing, for now, and just returned the strong hug. "I missed you, man." Kyle laughed.

"It's only been a few weeks..."

"I know, but, I mean... I just missed you being around all the time." He was still smiling as Kyle managed to pull himself away.

"Let's leave the sentimental bullshit until AFTER you've graduated." He smiled back, just as ecstatic to see his friend, though he was better at hiding it. "But yeah, I missed you too... Dude, are you actually going to cry?" Stan sniffed.

"Leave it, I'm a man, I don't need to talk about my feelings."

"Gay man," He corrected. "So spill it, Marsh." He grinned.

"Ugh, I thought we weren't talking about this 'sentimental bullshit' yet? ... But, I'm just glad you're here, it means a lot to me and whatever... Plus it's not like I want to leave this place..."

"Ugh, boys." Stan turned around to see Marcie walking over. "Glad you made it, Kyle!"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"Gaaaayyyy," she laughed. "Mike, Natalie and Sam are here now, wanna come back over?"

"Yeah, I'll be over in a minute."

Marcie just smiled and held up her hands, walking away.

"We're not going over to your friends?"

"I just want some time alone with my best bro, can't I have that?"

"Not if you're gonna start crying all over me, this suit isn't mine."

"Dude, how could tears ruin a suit?" Kyle just ignored the question and started walking slowly in the direction of Stan's friends and family. "So, Facebook's given you the day off?"

"Yeah. I don't have to work 24/7 you know. And like I said, I wouldn't miss this."

"Right," he was silent for a moment. "So not looking forward to having to move back in with my mom." Kyle just smiled, deciding to save his next surprise for the end of the day. He had already talked to Sharon about it, and she was in on the secret too.

"Who would?"

* * *

After the ceremony, they all took photos. First, Stan and his mom, then his sister joined in, then it was Stan, Marcie, Mark, Mike, Sam and Natalie with their arms around each other, huddled together in to one photo. Then it was Kyle's turn to get in a photo.

Stan put his arm around his friends waist, and Kyle did the same.

"Stan, smile!" Sharon shouted from behind the camera, and Stan gave her a pained smile.

"Hey, Stan."

"Yeah?" He turned to face his friend next to him, noticing just how close they actually were to each other when they almost bumped noses.

"We're going to be room mates."

"What?!"

"Say cheese!" Stan instantly cracked the biggest smile yet, beaming brightly in a photo he would keep forever, one that would always remind him of this moment. Once the photo had been taken, he pulled away from Kyle slightly.

"Room mates? Where, how... What?"

"I got my own place, and it's a two bedroom apartment. You didn't honestly think I was just going to let you move in with your mom right after college, did you?"

"Woah, Kyle, this is awesome! But, I don't have a job..." Sharon decided to jump in to the conversation at this point.

"That's alright Stan, I paid your share of the rent for the next few months so you have time to find one. Consider it your graduation present."

"Mom? You were in on this?" She just smiled back at him and said nothing more.

"It's in Seattle, so I'm not going to expect you to pay more than you can afford..."

"Seattle... Woah..." It was taking a while for it to all sink in, he was still not able to believe it. "When am I moving in?"

"Today, if you want..." Stan turned to his mom, looking for her opinion.

"You're an adult now, Stanley, you can figure this one out for yourself."

"Alright, today!" He smiled at Kyle and hugged him. "We'll be super best room mates."

Once all the photos had been taken, he excused himself and went over to where Marcie stood with her family. He pulled her away slightly to talk to her in semi-privacy.

"Hey, remember that time we were coming home from that party when we first started here, where you tried to kiss me, and I climbed up on to that bull statue to prove how gay I was?" He laughed at how stupid that sounded, but in his drunken state it made perfect sense at the time.

"Yeah, and then we got caught and you almost fell off!"

"Yep! One of my proudest moments," he was silent for a moment. "You sure you won't miss this?"

"Of course I will, I'll miss being around all my friends, what I meant yesterday was I won't miss the place or the classes or anything like that, just the people and the things we did... Ah, Kyle, hi!" She smiled at him over Stan's shoulder and Stan turned around, smiling too.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"No, just remembering the time Stan almost put himself in hospital one night."

"The bull incident?"

"The bull incident." Stan confirmed with a nod and an amused grin.

"Have you told her you're moving in with me?"

"Oh, sweethearts!" She put on a sickly sweet voice, placing a hand on her heart. "You've finally hooked up, oh babies I'm so proud of you." She laughed at Kyle's face, she would tease Stan a lot like this, so he was pretty much immune to it. Kyle, on the other hand...

"Is this girl smoking something?"

"No, she's just always like this."

"Right..."

* * *

"You sure you don't want me to stay with you until you have gone through?" Sharon asked as she pulled out Stan's last suitcase from the RV.

"I'm sure, mom." He took the bag from her and placed it at his side, releasing the handle so he could hug her. He didn't want to drag out their goodbyes if he didn't have to, it would just make it even harder. Sharon pulled back from the hug and sniffed, on the verge of tears again.

"Be safe, call me when you get there... I'll miss you." She kissed him on his cheek as a tear found it's way out.

"Yeah, dick, I guess I'll miss you too..." Shelly said, and Stan stood awkwardly facing her, not sure if he should hug her or not. "Come here, idiot." She solved the problem for him and pulled him in to a brief, but still emotional, hug.

Once all the hugging and crying had passed, Stan and Kyle picked up all the luggage.

"Well, I think we should go now." Stan mumbled awkwardly, shuffling his feet.

"Oh, alright... Bye, sweetheart!" She kissed him on the cheek one more time before letting him go, crying as she watched him walk away. Once they reached the entrance of the airport, Stan and Kyle watched sadly as the RV drove away.

"Well, you excited?" Kyle asked, and Stan wiped away a single tear.

"Hell yeah, dude!"

* * *

**Wow, I'm updating faster than I thought (a chapter a day? I was thinking more like a chapter a week) xD but as this progresses I'm finding myself wanting to see what happens next, like I'm reading it myself haha. Still have no idea what's coming next, didn't know until part way through this chapter that they would end up being room mates lol. Next chapter should reveal what they both studied, and the plot should hopefully start to form 8D**


	4. Bachelor Pad

"Stan, dude, you're going to love this one" Kyle said when they had settled down on their first plane.

"What am I going to love?"

"There's a place in Seattle, a neighborhood that used to be a town, called..." Kyle paused a moment for dramatic effect.

"Yeah?"

"South Park"

"No way! Are you kidding?"

"Nope, I'm serious," He grinned. "I decided one day to explore the city, and I saw a sign saying South Park Recreation Area so I checked google. It's real, and it's about twenty minutes away from where we'll be living."

"Weird," Stan laughed. "Seems like no matter what we do, we'll never get away from South Park."

"Never, even when we die I bet heaven will have a South Park too." He laughed with him, just as the seatbelt sign lit up and the plane doors began to close.

They only had to make one connection in North Carolina, and just over five hours later they finally touched down in Seattle, Stan still as excited as when they first started their journey.

"I can't wait to see our place!"

"You'll love it" Kyle grinned, pulling down their hand luggage as he was closest to the aisle. Stan had refused to take anything but a window seat, otherwise the motion of the plane alone would have been enough to give him travel sickness, but the fact that he knew that they were safely in the air distracted him from all that.

Stan looked away from the window and back to Kyle, smirking when he saw his shirt was riding up as he stretched his short body upwards.

"Put it away!" He teased as he smacked Kyle's exposed stomach.

"Hey!" He stumbled back slightly before resuming his task one handed, the other hand keeping his shirt pulled down. Stan sniggered.

"It's your fault for being so short."

"Shut up" He responded as he threw Stan's bag at him, grinning in satisfaction to see Stan, who had just started to stand up, fall back down on to his seat.

Once they made it out the airport, they realised just how late it actually was. Luckily, Kyle had kept his car there overnight.

"I've come to the conclusion that you're rich, Kyle" Stan said as Kyle paid the expensive parking fare.

"Facebook pays well" He said with a shrug.

"I bet it does, almost makes me wish I'd studied Computer Science too"

"Well, it's not really all about the money... It's about getting a job you love, money is just a bonus"

"I guess, although I don't know how enjoyable it will be to work with loud, annoying kids"

"Don't even start, Stan, not on moving day" He said lightly, but there was a slight threat hidden in there too. "I don't want to hear how crappy it will be to be an elementary school teacher, you chose to study elementary education" Stan just shrugged, deciding to forget about it for now and turned on the radio.

**I was the one who let you know.**  
**I was your sorry-ever-after.**  
**Seventy-four, seventy-five.**

Stan leant his cheek against the cold car window, watching as buildings and trees passed them by. As the song progressed, however, his lingering smile began to fade. It just hit him, he had just left three years of his life behind, that was it, over. He looked over at Kyle and remembered the day they had graduated high school together, and he wondered if they would ever be the same again.

**It's not easy, nothing to say 'cause it's already said.**  
**It's never easy.**  
**When I look on in your eyes then I find that I'll do fine.**  
**When I look on in your eyes then I'll do better.**

He thought about what life would be like, being room mates with Kyle. He had accepted the offer without a second thought, but now he really thought about it... It wouldn't be like high school at all, they wouldn't see each other for most of the day and he was scared that would, somehow, push them further apart than any distance ever could.

Kyle looked over at Stan, and saw his excitement had completely fizzled away. He looked a little lost, slumped against the window pane and sighing. Kyle decided to change the station, hoping that a happier song would pull him out of it.

"Almost here!" Kyle said with a smile as he turned left in to the next, and final, street. When the car stopped, he shook Stan's knee. "Stan? We're here now..." He prompted, and Stan looked up to meet Kyle's gaze. Kyle pulled his hand away from Stan's knee, but stubbornly held their eye contact. Eventually, Stan smiled and opened the car door before making his may around the back of the car to the trunk. Kyle followed him and helped him take his bags in to the apartment.

"Dude... Dude..." Stan put his bags down by the door, his mouth hanging open in awe. "This is awesome!" He smiled and went to explore. This was theirs, their very own apartment, no parents and no teachers to tell them what to do. He felt a strange sense of achievement that clashed with his previous worries as he spun around in the centre of the living room, grinning from ear to ear.

"You haven't seen your room yet" Kyle stood up from his position against the wall and lead him in to the corridor leading off from the living room. Kyle opened the first door on the right and let Stan in to his already furnished bedroom.

"Perfect" He grinned as he saw his bed already made with blue sheets and a red pillow. Kyle leant against the door frame, smile still lingering.

"Your bathroom is in the door opposite"

"I have my own bathroom?!" He ran across the hall to check, and Kyle just chuckled. "Honestly, Kyle, this place is the best!" He said once he left the bathroom. "I love the kitchen" he made his way back in to the living room and sat up on to the breakfast counter. "Perhaps you chose the wrong profession, Kyle, you would make an awesome interior designer" he said as he gestured to the arrangement of furniture in the living room and the decorations scattered around.

"Flattery will get you nowhere" Kyle said as he pulled out a bottle of wine from the fridge. "Ready to celebrate?" Kyle popped the cork, causing Stan to spin around on the counter to face in to the kitchen.

"Wine? Really?"

"We're grown ups now, we should be drinking classy grown up juice" Stan just laughed. "Oh shut up and get drunk" Kyle laughed a little as he spoke and poured the wine in to two glasses, knowing Stan didn't really care about what he drunk, as long as there was alcohol in it. This was confirmed when Stan snatched up his glass and downed half of it.

* * *

"I love your- no, no, OUR apartment. Dude. I love it"

"I know you do"

"No no no I mean it"

"Whateverrrrr, I knew you would"

Stan and Kyle were out on the balcony, looking out at the view of the city as police sirens could be heard in the distance.

"You're just so awesome," Stan poked his chest "I love you man"

"Yeah Stan, I know you do"

"I mean it!" He slumped against Kyle's side and wrapped his arms around him. "Iiii loooooveeee you Kyyyyyyyyle" he sang and then hiccuped.

"No more wine for you"

"No, I need a bed now" Stan turned around and went back inside, going down the hall and walking through the door at the end, Kyle following behind him.

"No wait, Stan, that's..." He trailed of as he walked in to his bedroom to find Stan already asleep on his bed. "My room" he finished with a sigh, going back to the living room and switching the stereo off, making sure all the windows and doors were locked before making his way back to his room.

He stood in his doorway, trying to decide if he should sleep in Stan's bed or not. It seemed like an easy decision, but then he remembered how drunk Stan had got and thought it best to stay with him, just in case he ended up choking on his own puke in the night. He made a face at the thought as he got in to his pajamas and turned out the light, getting in to bed and hoping that wouldn't happen.

"Good night" he whispered, and Stan just mumbled back in his sleep.

* * *

**The song mentioned in this chapter is 74 75 by The Connells. It doesn't entirely fit to this situation, lyrics wise, but when I heard it it made me think about how Stan would feel about things changing (not necessarily the lyrics, just the sad tune mostly, though some words fit...), and it would have been too obvious to put Landslide in there haha. OH and about South Park in Seattle, I had no idea there was a neighborhood with that name. I found it out by accident when I was looking for apartments (I wanted to make this as realistic as possible) to use in the story and my reaction was pretty much the same as Stan's, so I had to mention it in the story XD**


	5. I Dream of You

_He stood in his doorway, trying to decide if he should sleep in Stan's bed or not. It seemed like an easy decision, but then he remembered how drunk Stan had got and thought it best to stay with him, just in case he ended up choking on his own puke in the night. He made a face at the thought as he got in to his pajamas and turned out the light, getting in to bed and hoping that wouldn't happen._

_"Good night" he whispered, and Stan just mumbled back in his sleep._

* * *

"Uuuuggghhhh..." Stan groaned as his eyes slowly fluttered open, allowing him to see a tiny portion of the room he found himself in. Only a moment later, though, his vision was invaded by a concerned looking Kyle.

"Hey there, sleepy Stan" Kyle said quietly, almost certain that Stan's head would be too sensitive to take loud noises.

"Kyle?" he mumbled, half his mouth blocked by the pillow. "Where am I?"

"You're in my bed. Here, I brought you some water and tablets..." Stan just nodded at that and sat up slowly to take the tablets, deciding he would figure out what was going on later. "I hope you don't make a habit of this, I might be your super best room mate but there's only so much I can handle" He laughed quietly.

"Nnnn..." He nodded, slowly remembering how he came to be in this strange room. "Oh yeah... We moved in together." He smiled weekly, looking down at the cup of water that he was nursing.

"So you remember now, huh?" Kyle smiled back at him, moving to sit at the foot of the bed. Stan just nodded, saving his energy for his slow recovery. After a while of silence, Kyle decided it was okay to leave Stan alone and so he left and went in to the kitchen to make breakfast, making sure to shut the bedroom door in case the smell of food made him throw up.

As his body set about recovering, aided by the tablets, his mind wandered. He remembered drinking a lot of wine the night before, and he decided to backtrack from there. They had been celebrating moving in together, just after arriving from the long flight from Florida. He groaned quietly in realisation, a sudden change had happened in his life once again, and it was common knowledge by now how much difficulty Stan had accepting change.

He had learned at ten years old that change was inevitable, and it didn't always have to be a bad thing, but he did sometimes wish to regain his old innocence, where life was amazing every day. Back then he had no worries, had a whole family. At college he was just starting to feel comfortable again, back in a routine, surrounded by a new family when suddenly it got flipped upside down once more.

He would be forever grateful for Kyle's offer, and he certainly didn't regret accepting it because he wouldn't know what to do with himself if he didn't have his friend by his side. But he always had a hard time adjusting to change, good or bad, so he supposed this was to be expected. He just hoped he would be able to slip back in to a new routine and feel comfortable again in this new life they were going to build.

A considerable amount of time later, Stan felt well enough to get up and walk about, so that's just what he did. He got up slowly from the bed and called Kyle's name as he walked out the bedroom, then made his way to the kitchen.

"What's cookin' good lookin'?" He laughed tiredly, smiling as Kyle turned around to put the food on to one plate.

"Scrambled eggs, and you're just in time" he handed the plate over to Stan, who thanked him and sat at the breakfast bar to slowly eat it. "I checked the internet, apparently eggs are good for hangovers so..." he said, gesturing to the food. "I thought just plain eggs would be boring"

"You're the perfect wife" Stan said seriously between bites. He watched Kyle's face innocently, waiting for a reaction.

"Damn right I am"

"And I'm the perfect husband?"

"Nope, you're the kind of husband who gets drunk all the time and expects his wife to clean up after him"

"You wouldn't have me any other way" he grinned up at him, finished with his food.

"Whatever" he tried, and failed, to hide his smile as he took Stan's plate away and put it in the sink. "Wanna go to South Park today?" He asked, changing the subject.

"What? South Park's like... A thousand miles away from here"

"You forgot already?" he lightly smacked Stan's shoulder and laughed quietly, Stan just looked back at him blankly and he sighed. "There's a place called South Park not far from here, a neighborhood that used to be a town" Stan was silent for a moment.

"... Oh yeah! Yeah let's go check it out"

"That's what I...! Yeah, whatever, let's go"

It took, as Kyle had guessed, about twenty minutes to drive there. However, it took them longer to find a place to park but eventually managed to secure themselves a spot just outside the community center.

"Well... This place is certainly a lot different than our South Park" Stan concluded once he got out the car and looked around. In front of where they were parked was a large, fenced field (a playground, apparently, though it was deserted and nobody was playing on it) and to their right was the community center. "Although it looks just as boring, if nothing else..."

"Yeah, but it is just a neighborhood, not a town" Kyle was a little disappointed that there didn't seem like there was much that they could do, but he decided not to lose hope just yet. "Let's walk around a bit, maybe we'll find something going on" he smiled, and Stan just nodded and followed him. They turned left out the parking lot and walked down a few streets, Kyle keeping track of each twist and turn so they didn't get lost, and commenting about how nice or how ugly the houses were until they reached a place called Duwamish Waterway Park.

"Oh this looks kinda nice" Stan smiled, glad to finally find somewhere nice where they could relax and eat the food that they had brought. He made his way across the stretch of grass and sat down on the bench, facing the river. "Kyle, get your hot ass over here!" he turned around and grinned at Kyle, his arm now resting on the back of the bench.

"I'm coming!" He shouted back, grumbling as he pulled the lunch boxes out his bag. "Here you go, your highness" Kyle bowed as he passed the box to Stan, who just laughed and took it.

They ate in silence, looking out at the river as the ducks flew over, rushing to get to the bread that a family was throwing in to the water from the opposite side. Every now and then, Stan looked over to Kyle and smiled, the smile growing slightly wider when Kyle turned to him and silently returned it. Kyle subconsciously inched closer to Stan and, unbeknownst to either of them, they both slowly gravitated towards each other as though nature was pushing them together.

Kyle noticed it first when their legs touched, but he thought nothing of it until he felt Stan lean against him, relaxing and letting his whole weight slump against the currently tense form of his best friend.

"Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked calmly.

"Leaning on you"

"I can see that"

"Can I not do that?"

"Well, no, it's just a bit..."

"Go on Kyle, say it"

"Gay?"

"Duh. But you're my best friend, I can be gay with you if I wanna be, your problem is you just have to relax and get that stick out your ass, dude"

Kyle was silent for a while, but Stan didn't show any signs of pulling away. With a huff and a sigh Kyle gave in, put his arm around his best friend's shoulders, and relaxed.

"See" Kyle could practically hear the smile in Stan's voice. "It's just like when we were little, how we used to cuddle at Stark's Pond"

"Ugh" Kyle made a noise of protest. "We did not 'cuddle' at Stark's Pond, we just... Comforted each other in sad times, like that time when Chef left"

"If you say so"

"I do say so!"

"You're right"

"Damn right I'm right"

"You're the boss"

"Absolutely, I'm the boss" Kyle said in a serious tone, but then realised he had just referenced that crude internet song. He decided not to acknowledge it, hoping Stan wouldn't notice. There was about half a minutes silence, and Kyle thought he had got away with it, when...

"Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss" Stan sniggered.

"Stan, I swear to god..."

"Well the first thing I do is..."

"Stan-"

"TALK TO CORPORATE!" Stan shouted loudly, causing the family feeding the ducks on the other side to freeze in shock at the sudden outburst.

"Stan!" Kyle almost screeched, shoving his friend off him. "You ruined it now, no more cuddling!"

"I thought you said this wasn't cuddling"

"Grrr!"

"Alright alright, you're so easy to wind up, I can kinda see why Cartman always got off on it"

"He did not get off on it"

"If you say so"

"I do say so"

"You're right"

"Damn right I'm... Hey! We're not starting that again"

"Party pooper" Stan said dejectedly, taking the last bite of his sandwich. Kyle just sighed and finished his own sandwich, thinking for a moment before nudging Stan. "Hm?" He looked up at him.

"But the look in her eyes said... I need a friend" Kyle began, and Stan grinned at him causing him to smile back. If this was going to make his friend keep smiling then to hell with embarrassing himself in public.

"She turned to me, that's when she said it"

"Looked me dead in the face asked cash or credit and I-"

"JIZZED IN MY PANTS!" They both sang together, and Kyle was grinning too by that point. The family across the river threw them dirty looks and walked away but, this time, Kyle didn't care. All he cared about was that beaming smile that sat perfectly on his friends face.

* * *

They got back to the apartment in the evening, just the right time for dinner.

"I'll make dinner tonight, Kyle" Stan offered, making his way to the kitchen.

"Why?"

"Because you made breakfast, and lunch, and you drove us to South Park, so I need to pay you back somehow"

"Well, if you insist"

Stan decided to make spaghetti bolognese, and he even poured them a glass of wine each to make it seem more Italian. He had suggested putting a candle in the middle of the table too, because he wanted to be romantic like Cassanova, but then Kyle told him Cassanova was a sex pest, not a romantic, and Stan decided it wasn't a good idea after all. Stan washed the dishes too, and this time Kyle decided not to question it. Instead, he just put some music on and poured himself another glass of wine.

"If you get drunk, Kyle, I'm not getting drunk with you, not this time"

"Nah, I'm back at work tomorrow, so this is my last glass"

"Alright... Mind if I change the station? This song is shit"

"Sure"

Stan put the dishes away and walked to the stereo in the living room, changing the radio station a few times. He frowned when he couldn't find anything good, and walked into his bedroom to hunt through his bags (which he hadn't unpacked yet) to look for his CD collection. He picked one out and put the CD in to the CD player part of the stereo.

"Michael Bublé?!" Kyle asked, surprised.

"Yeah"

"That's... I didn't know you liked his music"

"Well, this album was an early graduation present from Marcella, so I haven't had it long"

"Wow... You know she's totally in love with you, right?"

"No?"

"Well, just listen to the words!"

Stan was silent for a moment, doing as he was told.

_Come on and cry me a river_  
_Oh cry me a river_  
_I cried a river over you_

_I cried a river over you_

"... That means nothing"

"Sure it doesn't"

Stan just shrugged and changed the track, trying to ignore the fact that Kyle was probably right. Stan smiled when his chosen track came on, and he began to sing along.

"All I do is dream of you the whole night through... with the dawn, I still go on, dreaming of you" He sang, starting to sway to the music. "Dance with me Kyle!"

Kyle was about to protest about the gayness of dancing together to a love song, but he realised it didn't matter in the comfort of their own home. So with only a moments hesitation, he made his way over to Stan who happily took his hands and began twisting and swaying.

"You're every thought, you're everything, you're every song I ever sing" he pulled Kyle closer slightly. "Summer, winter..." he grinned, knowing what was coming next. "ZADODOBABADADIZA and spring!" Kyle laughed and decided to really let loose here, this wasn't a serenade, this was just a celebration with his friend, he had nothing to be scared about. Soon enough, he was leading the dance around the living room and singing just as loudly as Stan, smiling just as wide.

"All I do the whole day through"

"Is dream of you!"

They continued dancing for the rest of the track but, as Kyle had suspected (and worried), the next song was a slow one. He didn't say anything, he thought maybe he should, but he couldn't get his lips to form the words. Stan was going through a similar problem too, deciding which was more awkward; having to pull away and make some sort of excuse, or continue dancing. They were both too late in making a decision, though, as their bodies decided to sway slowly together before their rational minds had a chance to catch up.

Throughout the duration of the whole song they refused to look at each other, but they also refused to be the first to pull away. It was almost like a game. Stan kept his head hovering above Kyle's shoulder (which was now a lot closer to his chest), and Kyle just turned his head to the left to look at the wall next to him. He could feel the soft fabric of Stan's t-shirt against his cheek, and he wasn't sure how that made him feel. Whatever it was, it was scaring him.

When the song finished, Kyle cleared his throat and slowly pulled away, still refusing to look at Stan. With a simple goodnight, he left the room and went to bed, leaving Stan alone in the middle of the living room.

* * *

**Took a bit longer to get this chapter finished as I spent a lot of time deciding where I'm actually going to go with this story. But I finally know what's going to happen now, yay!**


	6. One Look and I'm Done

_Throughout the duration of the whole song they refused to look at each other, but they also refused to be the first to pull away. It was almost like a game. Stan kept his head hovering above Kyle's shoulder (which was now a lot closer to his chest), and Kyle just turned his head to the left to look at the wall next to him. He could feel the soft fabric of Stan's t-shirt against his cheek, and he wasn't sure how that made him feel. Whatever it was, it was scaring him._

_When the song finished, Kyle cleared his throat and slowly pulled away, still refusing to look at Stan. With a simple goodnight, he left the room and went to bed, leaving Stan alone in the middle of the living room._

* * *

Every day that week was the same; Kyle left the apartment before Stan had even woke up, and when he did, he hung around the apartment for a few hours before making his way in to the city via bus to hunt for jobs, and then they would both return home around the same time to sit and eat in awkward silence (sometimes making a forced conversation), watch TV, and then go to bed.

Whenever they did talk, Kyle made sure to complain about some PA at work who kept bothering him, resulting in his inevitable frustration and therefore the quality of his work to occasionally slip, which just stressed him out even more because he was desperately hoping for a permanent job at the end of all this and he didn't want anyone or anything to mess that up. Stan just suggested he complain to his boss to get her fired, but Kyle just huffed and that was it, conversation over.

Stan, meanwhile, was specifically looking for teaching assistant jobs in elementary schools, but he knew those would be hard to come by and even more difficult to get hired, what with the fierce competition, so he made sure to apply to as many jobs as possible.

He was surprised that he had managed to get an interview so quickly, and on Monday the next week he had a time slot for an interview with a photography company specifically for night clubs. He supposed it was easy to get the interview because it didn't require anyone professional, just someone who could take a photo and was friendly with people so they could make a sale.

He thought that job was morally wrong, taking advantage of drunk people to sell them key chains and prints - and it was never a good idea to be reminded how embarrassingly drunk you got - but a job was a job, and he knew he couldn't really turn it down.

Back at home, Stan could tell Kyle was being distant for some reason, and he also noticed that whenever he got close to Kyle, or touched him (accidentally the first few times, and then deliberately just to make sure) he would flinch, just enough to notice, and hiss quietly then make some excuse to move away.

Then Friday night, just like every night for the past week, Stan couldn't sleep. He tried forgetting whatever it was that had happened at the beginning of the week and the days that followed it, but it refused to go away. He sighed and sat up in bed for the third time, but this time he didn't eventually lie back down again, this time he set his bare feet down on the warm carpet and slowly walked out his room. His feet took him to Kyle's room.

It seemed Kyle couldn't sleep either. He lay with his back facing Stan, but from the crack in the door Stan could see he was tense and knew he was just as far from sleep as he was. He pressed his hand flat against the door and slowly pushed it open, wincing as it creaked. The creaking was followed by bed sheets rustling, and Stan sheepishly lifted his head up to look at Kyle instead of the fluffy green carpet. Stan coughed awkwardly.

"You can't sleep either?"

"Well, certainly not now," Kyle answered with a glare. "What do you want? It's..." He turned away from Stan to purposefully inspect his digital clock. "Three in the morning?!" He looked at his clock in disbelief for a while before sighing and setting it back down.

"That's the problem, I can't sleep"

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" Stan had to hold back his smile, Kyle was always like this when he was tired and he found it nothing short of adorable. If things hadn't been so awkward between them this past week, he would have voiced these thoughts.

"I dunno... Talk to me, you've been avoiding me all week"

"Stan. Now is really not the time"

"But you can't sleep either, right?"

"But I have work tomorrow!"

"But tomorrow is Saturday" Stan pointed out calmly, lifting up his left arm in a weak gesture.

"God damn it Stan, fine, if you wanna talk then let's talk" He sat up in bed and folded his arms, the sheets pooling at his hips. Stan walked over and sat down on Kyle's bed, only noticing now that it was slightly wider than his own. He sat next to Kyle with his back resting against the headboard, his legs burying themselve beneath the covers. Their legs brushed and Kyle jumped, so he move them away. He stayed silent for a few minutes.

"Kyle... Should I just move out?" He eventually asked after giving it some thought.

"What the fuck, Stan? No"

"Well it's just, this doesn't seem to be working, me and you have been apart for more or less three years... Maybe it just isn't the same anymore" ever since the incident in their childhood when they almost drifted apart and Cartman, of all people, almost became Kyle's new best friend, he sometimes worried that this would happen again.

"Stan," Kyle sighed and his shoulders slumped, his defenses finally slipping away. "Alright I'll be honest with you, something here isn't the same" When he saw Stan fold in on himself slightly, his shoulders pushed forward and his head bowed down, he looked at him sympathetically. "But look at the bigger picture here, just for a minute, we both went to separate colleges. For three years, Stan," He decided not to mention that he couldn't stand being apart from Stan any longer than that if he didn't have to be, which is one of the reasons why he asked Stan to move in. "And we've only been back together again for a week, things just... They just can't snap back that fast" As much as he was trying to reassure Stan, he was trying to tell himself this too as the same train of thought kept repeating over and over in his mind for the past few hours.

"I don't think that's it, though"

"What do you mean?" Kyle genuinely wanted to know the answer, and Stan looked up at Kyle when he felt his warm hand rest on his shoulder.

"In the beginning things seemed fine, a bit rusty, but going in the right track. Now... Since Sunday night... All we did is dance together, did that bother you? Is it because I'm gay?"

"No Stan, just, I don't know. I was scared" he admitted and pulled his hand away and lay back down again, sighing.

"What is there to be scared of?" Stan asked as he lay down with him and pulled the covers up around them, turning on his side to face his friend. Kyle just shook his head, because he didn't know the answer either. In an attempt to comfort his friend (and calm him down after a stressful week), Stan ran his hand through his hair. He had known since about the time that Kyle stopped wearing his hat that he loved having his hair messed with, even if he didn't say so. Stan thought Kyle was kind of like a cat, one that would demand everything, but when the time was right and if you earned it, it would show you some love in return for a petting.

Kyle closed his eyes and sighed happily before grabbing Stan's other hand and bringing that to his hair too, silently demanding that he use both hands. Stan sat up so that he could do this better, and Kyle opened one eye to watch him.

"This might be easier if you sat up too" Stan suggested.

"Nnnope" he smiled and shut his eyes again, too relaxed to sit up.

"Alright, if you don't sit up I'm just going to have to sit on you then!"

"Do what you want" he said softly, and Stan was surprised he wasn't met with at least a little bit of resistance. He adjusted himself so he was sat on Kyle just above his hips, careful not to squash him with all his weight.

Kyle hummed every so often as he felt Stan's hands dive in and out his hair, his gentle fingers brushing against his scalp. He knew this must have looked so odd, but he didn't care because it felt so good.

Stan, on the other hand, gradually looked more and more confused. His hands dove deep in to the soft auburn curls, and this was just as relaxing to him as he knew it must be for Kyle, but the reason he was frowning was because his body seemed to be slowly leaning forward of it's own accord, and every time Kyle let out a quiet moan of content a shiver ran down his spine and the tips of his fingers tingled, though he tried to blame it on Kyle's hair brushing against them.

When Stan stopped an indeterminate amount of time later, Kyle opened his heavy eyes again to find Stan's face just inches from his own, and there was a strange look in his eyes as they flicked back and forth as if searching for something, his lips parted slightly. "Stan...?" He whispered, feeling captivated, trapped in Stan's gaze and he wondered if he looked the same too.

He didn't realise their faces were getting closer to each others until their lips brushed gently. It was only a small touch, but it felt like electricity, like he had been struck by lightening. He gasped as his body suddenly lurched forwards, connecting them fully by the lips and pushing them both in to a sitting position as he clutched at Stan, like he was trying to hold on to something but he didn't know what that something was.

Stan found himself gripping back, running his hands up the back of Kyle's shirt and over his shoulder blades, finally holding on tight to Kyle's shoulders as their lips began to move. It was a strange experience, swapping and changing between fast, desperate movements and slow, more cautious ones. Before Stan could really comprehend what was happening, they were both lying down again, Stan on top of Kyle until the other broke the kiss and flipped them over.

"What... What..." Kyle almost whispered, looking down at Stan as his hands rested on his chest, holding himself up.

"Kyle..." Stan didn't really know what to say, he felt just as confused as Kyle looked.

"Stan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he kept repeating as he climbed off him and lay back down next to him. Stan was glad he didn't freak out again, but he still wasn't sure if he was happy with this reaction, either.

"What are you sorry for?"

"Oh gee Stan I don't know," he said sarcastically. "For kissing you, maybe?" Stan just laughed.

"Don't be sorry about that," he exhaled and sat up, looking a little more serious now. "Human nature and all that jazz, I'm going to go back to bed though, unless you want me to stay?"

"No, no, you can go if you want"

So Stan just said goodnight and made his way back to his own bed, his first hope being that they hadn't just made things even more awkward than before. It didn't take him long to fall asleep after that, even though his heart was racing a mile a minute.

Kyle still had a problem, though, and he couldn't get his mind to switch off. He definitely knew something was different, maybe there had been a fine line between them that had broken, or maybe the line was never there to begin with... maybe now they were just becoming aware of that, or aware of something. This felt like some kind of strange awakening, and maybe that's why he couldn't sleep.

* * *

**There is a song to go with this chapter, so if you want to listen just search Stefani Germanotta Captivated on YouTube (yes that's Lady Gaga). Also I'm going to be away from the 1st September until the 16th so there probably won't be a new chapter until then.  
**


	7. It's Illogical

**This one is from Kyles POV because I felt it was needed... So yeah, here you go!**

* * *

A kiss; the connection of the lips of two individuals, typically to express strong emotions such as love.

Why we kiss; in the act of courting, a kiss is very important. By kissing, we can 'taste' a partner and send the information to our brains, allowing us to select the right mate. A kiss is also a form of expression for many other emotions, though these kisses are more straight forward (such as a kiss on the cheek) and more platonic than a romantic kiss.

So, I know in theory what a kiss is and why it happens, but I still can't work out why or how it has just happened to me. In theory, it makes complete sense, but when applied to me and my own problems, suddenly it became very hazy and confusing.

I don't like that. I don't like not knowing. I like to look at a problem and solve it, that is what I do, and kissing my best friend without a single thought or reason is definitely what I do not do. Until now.

Stan was calm about it, like he is with most things. In fact, thinking about it, he actually kissed me back. Though I know he is more about pleasing people and living in the moment, and it's not like a kiss is a bad experience, in fact, I dare say I enjoyed it. Plus, taking his preferences into the equation, I don't think he would protest too much to a guy randomly kissing him, and he probably will have thought it was better that it was me rather than some stranger… I shook my head, trying to forget about it, but when I looked back at the door that Stan left through just moments before, I found that this was impossible.

With a resigned sigh, I lay back on my bed and stared at the patterns on the ceiling, knowing it was going to be a long time before I got to sleep.

When I woke up I looked at my clock and, with a groan, I realised it was 2 in the afternoon. What's worse was that I only got eight hours sleep because I kept tossing and turning as my mind was racing all night until the early hours of the morning, trying to come up with a solution but only coming to a dead end every time. I could hear Stan moving about down the hall, and I guessed that he managed to fall asleep way before I did, and probably woke up way before me, too.

I debated for a while if I should leave my room, but I couldn't hide forever. Eventually, I got dressed and made my way down the hall to the living room.

"Finally decided to return to the land of the living?" Stan asked me with an enticing smile.

"Oh ha ha." I bit back sarcastically, almost blaming my lack of sleep on him, but then I remembered it was all my fault… Wasn't it? Perhaps I could blame it on his kissable lips. However, before I got the chance to, he walked over from his spot in the kitchen and sat down at the dining table with his lunch; A ham sandwich.

"I would have made you something too, but I didn't know when you would wake up… I did wait for a couple of hours, but I was getting really hungry and, well…" he trailed off as he took his first bite out of his sandwich.

"It's okay, I'm capable of making something myself" he didn't say anything after that, just smiled and continued to eat. It was only once I had sat down opposite him with my own sandwich that he spoke again.

"So…"

"What?"

"You kissed me" he grinned. Oh, so he wanted to talk. Great.

"It... That... I was tired, and you were so close to me and-"

"Okay, okay, I'm not accusing you of anything. Now, however… You're making me think you have something to hide" he smiled and took the last bite of his sandwich. I just stared at him, not sure if I should be offended or not.

"I'm not gay"

"Okay"

"I'm not!"

"I believe you!" he said with a small laugh before pouting his lips and pointing to them.

"Stan, stop it!" I tried to hold in my laughter and look serious, but I had no such luck.

I was glad to see that things weren't awkward between us as they had been the past week, perhaps that kiss was needed to set things straight again (ironically, considering the circumstances). But if that's the case, then why did I find myself wanting to do it again? If the solution of the problem was that it was to relieve some form of negative tension then why do I want to feel his lips pressed against mine once more? It was this thought, and this desperate and almost obsessive need for an answer that led me to Stan's bedroom door that night.

I could hear him snoring quietly and I pictured him lying there, mouth parted ever so slightly as air moved in and out through those lips. Soft lips. I pushed the door open, and Stan didn't stir. Maybe I could just give him a light peck on the lips without waking him up, and I could get my answer and slip away without him knowing. So, with that thought, I confidently crossed the room and crouched down at the side of the bed where his head lay.

He looked just as I had imagined. His lips parted as he breathed deeply, snoring occasionally. I looked at his lips and swallowed, finding my mouth suddenly dry. You are Kyle Broflovski, a voice said in my head, you don't do this.

I ignored the voice and leaned forward, noticing Stan's eyelids flicker out of the corner of my own but I ignored that too. I was after one thing and one thing only, and it inched closer and closer to me. Closer, closer, closer until-

"Kyle…?" A sleepy voiced mumbled out through those lips and I stopped, my own lips mere centimeters away from them, so close that I could actually feel his words on my skin. I barely moved; only my eyes seemed capable of doing anything as I nervously looked left at Stan who, to my horror, was indeed awake. "What are you… Doing?" he asked me with sleepy confusion.

"I think I want to kiss you again" I said without hesitation. I knew I couldn't come up with a believable story as to why I was in this position, so the truth would have to do.

"You think?"

"I don't know, I just want you to kiss me, it… I don't understand" I knew I was babbling, but it seemed to work because the next thing I knew his lips were against mine. My first thought was that this was so much better than last time; it was gentle and slow, but certainly no less passionate. I sat on the bed, trying my best not to part our lips. Eventually, I managed to somehow lie next to him, his face in my hands as our tongues slow danced together, the only music being the sounds we made. I heard our amplified kisses, wet and oddly pleasurable, and mixed in was the sound of our deep breaths. All my senses were heightened, and I could feel my pupils dilate. I felt the beginning of an addiction.

When I finally pulled away some time later, I noticed that I had closed my eyes. I didn't dare to open them; I didn't want to see Stan's reaction. I decided to just pretend that I was asleep, and he started stroking my hair like the previous night until he actually did fall asleep, and it wasn't long before I joined him.

I woke up before Stan the next morning. I watched him carefully as he lay there with his mouth wide open and lying half on his back, partly facing me and I figured that at some point during the night he had changed positions as this was certainly not the one we fell asleep in. I myself hadn't moved much, but that doesn't mean to say I didn't move around at all…

After the unnecessary analysis of the scene before me, I distracted myself with the patterns on Stan's ceiling. They were different than mine, which was odd, surely the people who were in charge of the wall paper in this apartment building would have used the same paper to save money or at least for convenience. I gave a tiny shrug, one the size that this small, cramped single bed would allow, even though nobody could see it. I wished I was in my bed, but then Stan gave a quiet snore (was that even possible?) next to me and I took back that wish. If trying to find my answer was the start of some crazy fucked up journey of self discovery, at least he would be there.

After making all the patterns available on Stan's ceiling, I decided that I really should get up and go back to my own room, or at least out of this one because if I couldn't keep my mind off anything else but that unsolvable problem, then I at least didn't want to be around when Stan woke up and I would once again be unable to answer his questions.

As I sleepily walked to the living room, deciding I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep despite my tiredness, I wondered if we would kiss again. It seemed as though this potential solution just made the problem bigger and harder to ignore. Damn it.

I decided to use my time to continue to try and solve this. We had been apart pretty much the whole three years of college, there's a start… Yes, okay, we saw each other in the school holidays and whenever it was possible, considering the distance between us (I sat down on the couch as I thought about this) but, we've been back together in such a way that we can only avoid each other at work or, in Stan's case, by job hunting or going out at night. But it's still always in the back of my mind that he's here, and he's here with me. Maybe that's were things were going wrong, wires were crossing in my brain and I was losing it.

Stan this, Stan that, Stan's here, Stan's there. Stan, Stan, Stan. I guess I didn't really notice it until then, but the only time I'm not thinking about him is when I'm concentrating on my work. Maybe my brain thinks I would enjoy wanting to kiss him, so it won't let me rest until I do. That has to be it. Right?

I grabbed my hair in frustration. The answer can't be that simple, and it makes no sense, it's illogical.

Regardless of my frustration, I couldn't stop thinking about his lips. I spent not a single night in my own bed from that night onwards, and our nighttime kisses were quickly becoming a regular recurring thing. We never spoke about it in the day, though.

Does this make us friends with benefits? I don't think this would ever develop in to sex, really. Sex, at least in Stan's mind, is something he will not do with someone he does not love deeply… Something about connecting emotionally as well as physically, as he himself once described it to me. He calls it making love. So me and Stan could never be friends with benefits based on the basic fact that, because it's Stan, we would have to be friends and more to make it that far.

So, we're friends who kiss every night. And kissing is nice, and Stan is my best friend. So, maybe this unsolvable problem isn't so bad and… In fact, I thought with a smile, it really isn't a problem at all.

* * *

**There is a song for this chapter, but not all the lyrics fit so I'll let you experience it just as it is :D haha. Also if you realised I slipped in one of Spock's lines, it was intentional, just to show the way in which he is analysing the whole thing and completely ignoring the human element to it all lol**


	8. The Wrong Side of the Right Bed

Stan knew that most other people would be unsettled by this. He could tell that Kyle was, sometimes when he got caught up in a moment and reached up to touch Kyle's face, he felt him flinch. Yet he didn't stop, and so neither did Stan. It was such a delicate situation, he knew if he made the wrong move at the wrong time, everything could just fall apart.

He so desperately wanted to talk about it. To Kyle, or to his mom, hell he would even talk to Shelly if he had to. For some strange reason, though, he ended up calling Kenny. It was only after the conversation that he regretted it, and dreaded the day that Kyle got the phone bill to find Stan had racked up the numbers by calling internationally to Poland. The main reason for his regret, though, was Kenny's reluctance to speak to him. He thought back to their conversation...

"Słucham," Kenny's voice floated through the receiver.

"Kenny?" Stan asked, worried he had got the number wrong. Kenny coughed.

"Stan? Hey... Why are you calling? Won't this cost you guys the earth for every minute you talk to me?"

"It... It'll be fine, Kyle's rich."

"Well, what's up? I hope it's something important..."

"I, okay, me and Kyle have been kissing every night, and-"

"What the fuck, are you fucking kidding me, Stan?! You called me up for this?" Stan could hear voices in the background, but he couldn't understand the language. Kenny sighed. "Look, dude, this isn't high school anymore. If someone we know had died I'd understand, but I don't have time for this, I better go," the voices got louder, and Kenny's voice got quieter as he pulled away from the phone. "Jestem już prawie gotowy..." More mumbling. "Nie. Stan, I have to go, don't worry about it, talk to him or something, you guys have gone through bigger things but you're still close friends." And that's when he put the phone down.

Thinking back on it, Stan knew it probably wasn't the best idea to call Kenny. He felt pretty ashamed of himself. There he was, internationally whining about kissing somebody, while Kenny never called anyone about anything. Ever. Even way back in elementary school, when Kenny barely had any food to eat and his parents fought and drank most nights, he never complained.

It was this shame, on top of everything else, that sent Stan back down the slippery slope to the bottom of the bottle. At first, Kyle never noticed because he was away at work while Stan drank himself in to a stupor, but soon the bottles and cans began to pile up.

"Stan," he began the moment he came back in from Facebook. "I need to talk to you."

"Kyyyle!" Stan grinned, hugging his super best room mate. "I need to talk to you too." He slurred. Kyle tried to push Stan off and he stumbled for a moment before finding his feet again.

"This is serious, you need to stop. I know being unemployed is hard, but this isn't the answer."

"Kyle, Kyle..." He hiccuped, "Kyle, no, Kyle... This is like... More than that," he whispered as though it were a secret. "It's bigger than both of us, this... big load of shit..." He scrunched up his face in confusion, trying to decide if he was making sense or not.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kyle said, his voice an undecipherable monotone, as he picked up the bottles that littered the floor. "But if you're only going to spend my money on alcohol, I forbid you from using it. Nothing comes in through that front door without my permission."

"Jeeeeez, okay... Relax... You sound like your mom." Stan swayed slightly, and Kyle dropped the bottle he was holding before straightening slowly, his breath coming heavy and fast out of his nostrils. He reminded Stan of a bull, and this made him giggle. Unfortunately, Kyle was not amused.

"Is this funny to you?!" he glared daggers at his best friend.

"You-you're funny when you're angry. I'll kiss... Kiss your frown, turn it upside down!" He raised his hands, convinced this was what Kyle wanted to hear. It wasn't.

"Go to bed, Stan, you should rest." He said through his barely contained anger.

"Mmmake me." Stan teased, sticking out his tongue. Kyle felt tempted to rip it right out of his mouth. Instead, he just grabbed Stan's elbow and dragged him to his room, all but throwing him down on to the bed.

"Sleep, or just relax, anything, I don't care, but the next time I see you you better be sober." He ordered before stomping away. Stan lay on his side as a few tears slid down to his pillow, overcome by a mix of tiredness and drunkenness bringing upon him a burst of emotion.

"I'm sorry Kyleeeeee." He sniffed, wiping his nose clumsily. Kyle stopped in the doorway and looked back at him sympathetically, though his anger was still there.

"Alright, tell me that when you wake up, okay?"

"Can you kiss me?" He looked up at him with what he hoped was an innocent, pleading expression. Kyle shook his head, and Stan looked ready to cry again.

"If you ask me again when you're sober, I'll consider it..." He sighed deeply through his nose and turned to leave. "Don't lie on your back." He added before shutting the door. Stan wiped away the stray tears and soon fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Kyle made his way to the living room and switched on the TV, burying his head in his hands in frustration and letting out a muffled sound, a mix of a groan and a cry. He had hoped Stan wouldn't revert back to his old ways, and truth be told he had expected a little bit of kissing every night of the week might have made him happier. It was making Kyle happy, even though his mind was fighting against it for everything he stood for. Why couldn't Stan be happy, too? That's all he wanted.

Kyle peered through his fingers at the TV, his vision blurred by the pressure from his fingers. The words _Jersey Shore: Russia _appeared on the screen and in a flash Kyle switched the channel over, not wanting to get involved with that train wreck in any way. Eventually, he settled on a movie to pass the time. The Perks of Being a Wall Flower. He had never watched it at the cinema, so he decided now was a good time if any.

As the movie progressed, he found himself engrossed more and more in the story. At first he thought it was just another teen high school movie, but it was proving to be so much more.

_"I know I'm quiet, and I know I should speak more, but if you knew the things that, uh, that were in my head most of the time you'd know ... What it really meant ... How much we're alike, and, and that how we've been through the same things. And you're not small, you're beautiful."_

Kyle watched as the main character, Charlie, leaned forwards and kissed his best friend/girlfriend Sam. The main character reminded him of Stan. Maybe Stan wasn't always a quiet, shy guy, but he was just as sensitive. They even looked similar. Kyle would have laughed if Sam physically resembled himself, too.

When the movie ended, Kyle sighed, satisfied. It had managed to calm him down a lot, and it had definitely lifted his mood. However, there was a slight worry at the back of his mind. What if Stan did really turn out like Charlie? He knew that creative people tended to have problems with depression and other related things, but could there really be things going on in Stan's mind that he didn't know about? He thought back to what Stan had said earlier, about the reason for his recent drinking. It's bigger than both of us. What did he mean?

He decided to put it aside, knowing that he would just become frustrated again, because he might not know his friend as well as he thinks he does. He waited for the next movie to begin, clearing his mind and thinking about nothing in particular while the commercials played. Stan didn't wake up again until halfway through the second movie, Titanic (what's with all these romantic movies?), and he seemed sober. Groggy, but sober.

"Hey..." Stan mumbled with a voice thick with sleep, holding a hand to his head.

"Sobered up?" Kyle asked, cutting to the chase.

"I think so," Stan said as he sat next to Kyle. "Why are you watching Titanic? I thought romantic movies weren't your thing?" He asked, gesturing weakly to the TV. Kyle shrugged.

"It's either this or I watch the new Jersey Shore cast freezing their asses off in Russia."

"Ah, okay, no need to explain." He said with a slight wince. Kyley-B was not a side of Kyle he would like to see again in a hurry.

They sat in silence for a while, awkwardly watching the screen as Rose stood on the railings with her arms wide. Stan grinned and decided to break the silence.  
"I'm flying, Jack!" He imitated her with a high pitched voice, Kyle turned to Stan and gave him a strange look. Stan places his hands on Kyle's shoulders. "Come Josephine in my flying machine going up she goes, up she goes." He sang to Kyle at the same time that Jack sang to Rose. Kyle finally laughed.

"You know the words to this movie, how many times have you watched it?" Kyle asked, not pulling back.

"I don't know... A lot, you know I love it."

"Yeah, I know." He gave a short laugh and turned back to the screen to see Jack and Rose kissing. He shifted slightly, and Stan looked at the screen too. Eventually, Stan looks back at Kyle. He remembered Kyle had said he would consider kissing him if he asked him again when he was sober, but he hoped that maybe it would be okay if he didn't ask. He never asked all the other times, but then that was always at night, not in the evening... Would this be crossing boundaries?

He kissed him anyway. It was short. Kyle pushed him away and looked as though he was about to shout at him, but then he decided against it and turned back to the movie, completely ignoring what had just happened.

"Sorry." Stan whispered, and he could see Kyle smiling in acknowledgement like he knew exactly what Stan was apologising for.

By the time the movie ended, Stan was in tears once more.

"Dude... You cry-"

"Every fucking time," Stan finished for him, "I can't help it!" he laughed through his tears. "She dies at the end and meets up with him again at the clock!" Kyle snorted.

"Well, at least you're comfortable enough around me to not hide your girly emotions."

"Hey," he said with a stuffy nose. "It's not girly to be in touch with your emotions." He poked Kyle in the shoulder, Kyle just shrugged and stood up.

"Well, I'm going to bed..." He looked down at Stan expectantly, wondering if he should say something. "Are you?"

"Yeah, though I don't think I'll sleep for a while, not when I just got a few hours..."

"No..." Kyle looked down at the floor and then towards the hallway. Without another word, he walked towards Stan's room and sat on his bed, waiting. About a minute later, Stan walked in. He barely hesitated when he saw Kyle on his bed, but Kyle could see it, like Stan was expecting Kyle to skip out on the kisses tonight.  
He made his way over to Kyle and lay down on the bed without a word, Kyle twisted around to look at him for a moment before standing up and turning around completely and sitting on Stan's middle. He placed his hands on his friend's chest and leaned down, readying himself for the kiss.

Tonight's kiss seemed different than all the others. He couldn't stop himself from thinking back to that scene in Perks of Being a Wallflower, though he had no idea why. For starters, that kissing scene was different because it was a kiss to mark the beginning of a relationship. This kiss was definitely not marking the beginning of anything, at least, not anymore.

* * *

The next day at Facebook was tense. Not that it wasn't always tense, what with worrying about making the right impression in the hopes that he could get a permanent job from this, but the PA who always got on his nerves seemed to be getting worse with each day that passed. She would come in in the morning with coffee and muffins for the rest of the staff, and then she would linger at his table for the next hour while he tried to work. She sometimes even cut in to his lunch break. Four weeks down, eight left to go.

"So, how's it going with the roommate?" She asked as she sat down on the edge of his desk.

"I've told you, he's not just a roommate." Kyle mumbled while he frowned at the screen, typing and clicking quickly.

"What, like, you're butt buddies or something?"

"No," Kyle clicked a few more times and sighed, his frown deepening as he turned to her and sipped his coffee. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't call it that."

"Fine, gay life lovers then. Still, moving all the way from Florida just to live with you, and he's gay..."

"And he's my best friend, and his only other option was to live with his mom." Kyle put down his cup and turned back to his computer, considering this conversation over.

"You should have got a girl roommate." She said, waving her hand around as though it weren't an important topic. Kyle grunted but otherwise ignored her, remembering how, before Stan moved in, she used to hint that she could move in with him, no matter how many times he tried to tell her that spot was reserved.  
There was silence for another few minutes, the only sound was the tapping and clicking of the other workers echoing around the large room. It was quite a nice room, in Kyles opinion. He was expecting a room cramped with office cubicles and filled with noise, but this spread out, quiet atmosphere was just perfect. Everyone else was friendly, even the boss. Though he wasn't letting his guard down too much, just in case it was a test. This PA was the only thing he didn't like about the place.

"Shouldn't you be, like... Doing something else?" Kyle asked after she hadn't moved for about ten minutes.

"Oh, no, if I'm needed someone will come and get me."

"Right..." He supposed it didn't really matter that much if a PA didn't show initiative or seemed eager to work, because it wasn't much of a risk to her job whereas, for example, if Kyle decided to sit around doing nothing he could expect to get a warning, and for a bad mark to go next to his name.

She hung around for a bit longer until one of the supervisors came over and asked her to come and help her with some task, Kyle wasn't sure what exactly because he was too busy concentrating on his work. He didn't see her again until the end of the day, when she was waiting by the entrance of the building. Kyle frowned when he saw her.

"I thought your shift finished at two?"

"I waited, I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a drink, or something. I know how stressful this job is for you and I just thought... You need to unwind, I'll treat you to a few drinks or something." She smiled. Kyle was wondering what he should do. He's never been asked out for drinks by a girl before, it's always been him that asked, which in itself was a rare occurrence. He assumed, though, that a girl asking a boy out was not the norm. He had no reason to say no, and she seemed a little... Unsettled, who knew what she could do if he refused her. She could put his job at risk, she could say anything.

"Alright... I guess one drink couldn't hurt." He attempted to smile back at her. As they began to walk to the nearest bar, he got out his phone and sent a text to Stan to explain.

**_Kyle_**  
_PA asked me out for drinks, couldn't really say no. She's crazy dude, she could claim I forced myself on her at work if I refuse :/ sorry man, but I'm not risking it. There's lasagne in the freezer though :) x_

**_Stan_**  
_K x_

Stan sent his reply quickly, heading over to the fridge and inspecting what drinks he had left. Knowing it would be his last chance to drink his problems away, and this was strangely a big problem to him, he grabbed the six remaining bottles with difficulty and retreated to his room, intent on not leaving it for the rest of the evening.  
Kyle, meanwhile, was regretting his decision to accept the PA's offer. He didn't even know her name and yet she had managed to buy him more than one drink, plus the short message from Stan was playing on his mind, and this frustration was causing him to kick back more drinks. The fact that he was being a hypocrite was far from his mind.

"I don't know your name, why are you so obsessed with me?" Kyle asked after his third drink.

"My name is Laura, and I'm not obsessed with you, I just like you, maybe I want to kiss you." She smiled with fake shyness. Kyle frowned. She was anything but shy, she was scarily confident in her advances. He felt sick.

"You don't want to kiss me." Kyle said as he happily accepted his fourth drink... Where did that come from? He didn't think about it too much before he downed half of it.

"Oh, I think I do."

"Hmm..." Kyle hummed, staring down in to his glass. He had never been able to hold his alcohol well, and he could already feel the room beginning to spin. "But I've kissed a boy, you don't want that." He said after a few minutes as he looked up at her. Laura pursed her lips, looking almost angry. She swept a strand of her dark, short hair away from her face and the anger was gone.

"It was Stan, wasn't it? It's okay honey, you can still have me." Kyle was getting really confused now. He wanted to have her? When did he say that? He knew he was quite drunk by now, with the combination of having finished four glasses already and not eating for a long time, but he didn't remember saying he wanted her...

"Can I? Do I want you?"

"I think you do." She said deeply, putting a hand on Kyle's knee. If Kyle squinted enough, she almost looked like Stan with her short hair and blue eyes. Suddenly, he wanted to kiss her.

* * *

"Come Josephine in my flying machine." Stan mumbled to himself, lying on his bed with the empty bottle that had contained his last drink resting on his stomach. He hiccuped. The front door opened. Stan stopped humming and got up from his bed, swaying as he walked to his bedroom door. He could hear voices down the hall so he opened the door slightly and looked out through the crack, noticing that Kyle had returned and he wasn't alone.

"Thanks for inviting me inside." It was a girl's voice. Stan frowned, Kyle was with a girl? His frown deepened when he remembered that this was why he was drinking.

"Did I? Oh, um, but that's okay... I wonder where Stan is..." Stan could tell Kyle had had a bit too much to drink too.

"Shh, let's not think about Stan, I want a tour of your apartment. How about you show me your room?"

"Oh... Alright..." Kyle led Laura down the hall, and Stan stepped back from his door, hoping that he wouldn't be seen. He heard Kyle's bedroom door open and close, and he decided it was safe enough to leave his own room. He went in to the kitchen and got a small glass cup, returning back to his room. He knelt up on his bed with some difficulty, trying not to drop the glass. He placed it against the wall and pressed his ear to it, listening to what was happening in Kyle's room.

"Fuck me." Came the girl's voice.

"Huh, what?"

"You said you wanted to sleep with me."

"I did? No, I'm sure I would know if I said that."

"Then kiss me, you've kissed me enough times tonight."

"You look like Stan when I squint at you."

"Huh, so that's what you were doing... Well, whatever works for you, would you have sex with Stan?"

"I... No! Of course not! Definitely not... No, I don't think so... I don't... Hmm..."

"Then what about me?"

Stan pulled the cup away, not wanting to hear any more of their conversation. He carefully but clumsily put the cup down on his bedside table and slumped down on his bed, curling up. He could feel that horrible mix of drunk and tired hitting him like it always did, making him bubble up with emotions and cry. He fell asleep with his head resting upon a damp pillow, the muffled sounds of movement floating through the walls.

* * *

**Chapter song is Drunk by Ed Sheeran. If you're curious about last chapter's song, it was Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute, but as I said not all the words fit.  
This is the longest chapter so far, so I hope it's good :D I only spent two days writing it, but it took the rest of the week to plan it out. Hope you like the little appearance Kenny makes. There will be more of him in the future chapters, along with other characters. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about them! Oh and if you haven't watched Perks of Being a Wallflower, Wikipedia should tell you all you need to know. As for the Polish, I hope you didn't check Google translate because I want to keep Kenny a mystery for now. And yes, Jersey Shore: Russia is just a joke xD  
**


	9. Dinner Alone, Tonight

_Stan pulled the cup away, not wanting to hear any more of their conversation. He carefully but clumsily put the cup down on his bedside table and slumped down on his bed, curling up. He could feel that horrible mix of drunk and tired hitting him like it always did, making him bubble up with emotions and cry. He fell asleep with his head resting upon a damp pillow, the muffled sounds of movement floating through the walls._

* * *

"I think you should... Go home now Laura."

"What!" she snapped.

"I... This isn't what I want... I'm sorry"

"Well fuck you Kyle, you know as well as me I can ruin this internship for you!"

"Look..." Kyle shifted to sit up while she jumped off the bed with a huff, hooking up her bra and slipping her top back on. "I can't do this, please... If you actually like me, don't do this to me" he looked at her pleadingly, while trying his best not to look vulnerable. She didn't say anything, just glared at him and left his room, left his apartment. His and Stan's apartment. With a sigh, he got off his bed and went to Stan's room. He stood there in the doorway for a few moments, watching his gentle breathing.

"... Stan?" he whispered. No response. "Stan, are you awake?" He said this louder, and it seemed to work. He repeated his question, and Stan shifted as his breathing lost it's steady rhythm.

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"Go away, Kyle."

Kyle was silent for a few moments, but Stan knew he was still there, he could feel his eyes burning the back of his head. He turned over.

"What do you want?" Stan asked, clearly unimpressed. Kyle traced the tear tracks down his cheeks.

"I just... I just..." What? What did he want? He knew exactly what he wanted. He crossed the bedroom and was about to lay down next to Stan, but he was stopped by a hand pressing hard on his chest.

"No."

"Stan...?"

"No."

"What's wrong?" He asked, forgetting about what he had just been trying to do and focusing on being concerned for his friend.

"I don't know" Stan whined, his face scrunching up painfully as he sat up in bed, the sheets rustling and flumping in to his lap. A bottle rolled off his bed and on to the carpet with a dull thud. To Stan's surprise, Kyle didn't get mad about it. He knew it was only a matter of time, though.

"Okay... I think we're both too drunk to know anything right now..."

"Probably" Stan thought he could see Kyle's anger bubbling just below the surface. In his mind, he had an image of a child's drawing of Kyle, outlined in black and coloured in red to show his badness level.

"How was the interview?" Kyle asked. Stan let out a frustrated scream.

"I didn't go!" Stan shouted, and he realised it wasn't Kyle's badness level he was imagining, it was his own. "I didn't go I didn't!" He jumped out of bed, and Kyle stepped back in shock. "Kyle why can you think that you can just do this to me?" he began, pacing back and forth on the opposite side of his bed.

"What...?" Kyle's fuzzy mind was having a hard time keeping up with what was happening.

"I didn't go to that interview, I was too drunk to remember, I'm drunk now! I don't have a job and I don't have any money and the rent that my mom paid will run out eventually, I'm a shitty friend and a shitty room mate and I can't even get my shit together! You kiss me every night and it's not fair! I just want it so much!" He knew he wasn't making much sense, but he couldn't stop. "And then you have sex with the girl from Facebook and I, and I..." he sniffed. "I can't give you anything else, so you take kisses from me! It's not fair because I like it, and you don't and it's just not fair!" He hiccuped out a sob, walking around his bed and pushing past Kyle, who just stood there gaping like a fish, not knowing what to say.

He heard the front door slam, and even though he still didn't understand what had just happened, he automatically ran out after Stan. The elevator doors closed just as he reached them, and no matter how many times he furiously pressed the button to call it back, the door wouldn't open again.

"Shit!" He cursed, heading quickly to the stairs and running down them, being careful not to trip over his own feet. He still stumbled down the last few steps, and as he clumsily righted himself he could see Stan exiting their apartment building, stepping out and in to a large group of guys who were seemingly in the midst of celebrating a bachelor party.

Out on the street, Kyle didn't know which way to turn. He had lost sight of Stan the moment he had joined the small crowd, as though he had been swept away by them. Kyle spent the next half an hour looking for Stan anyway.

By the time Kyle returned to their apartment, he was defeated and tired. The only good thing about Stan being missing was that he had time to think about what happened and why Stan was missing in the first place. But even then, he knew that might turn out to be a bad thing, too.

Instead of thinking things over, Kyle slowly dragged himself to bed and flopped down lazily on to it. Maybe this never really happened, maybe he had had too much, maybe Laura had spiked one of his drinks, maybe when he woke up again, Stan would be asleep in his bedroom like he was supposed to.

So when Kyle woke up the next morning, head groggy as vague memories of the night before filtered through it, the first thing he did was head for Stan's room. He wasn't there. So it really happened. Shit. Kyle sat down on the sofa and pulled up his knees, hugging them to his chest. He wondered if he should call the police now, but wasn't there a certain amount of time someone had to be missing for a search party to be sent out?

An hour later, and Kyle was staring at the phone on the wall, debating if he should call the police or Stan's mom. Then he realised that Stan always kept his phone in his pocket. What he hadn't realised, however, was that Stan was wearing his pajamas when he left. It was only when Kyle called Stan's number and heard a phone ringing down the hall that he knew that Stan didn't have his phone with him.

Kyle hung the phone back on the wall and looked at the clock in the kitchen. Seven thirty. Should he call in sick? Could he even do that when it wasn't even an actual job? He wasn't sure, but he didn't want to take the chance, despite how much he wanted to spend the day looking for Stan instead. As he was getting ready, he felt guilty. What if Stan was lying dead in a back alley somewhere? He knew he was over reacting, but Stan had been out alone all night in the city, and Kyle couldn't help but worry. He just hoped that he had managed to stay safe and warm.

When Kyle stepped in to the elevator, he was wondering how he could make it through the day. Would he even be able to concentrate? All that was on his mind right now was Stan, and the words he had said the night before wouldn't stop echoing and repeating in his mind. He didn't know if he could concentrate on anything else.

As the doors slid closed, the door to the stairwell down the hall opened. Kyle didn't see it.

* * *

"Kyle, I want to apologise"

Kyle looked up from the keyboard, where his hands had been hovering for the past ten minutes, to find Laura standing by his desk. "You do?" He asked, remembering what had happened between them the night before. He had almost completely forgotten about it.

"Yeah... I shouldn't have manipulated you like that... It's a habit of mine, I'm working on it" she offered him a smile, and Kyle smiled halfheartedly back at her. "Are you alright?" She asked, surprising Kyle that she was actually paying attention to him now, rather than just seeing what she wanted to see.

"Not really... But can we not talk about this right now? I just want to focus on my work"

"Alright, I'll just be in the staff lounge, then" she said, patting his arm as she left.

Kyle was surprised at the sudden shift in her attitude. Had what he said finally got through to her? He wasn't sure if she was actually trying to change, or if she was just trying a new tactic. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind, along with everything else, and his fingers began to work furiously once again.

When he finally left the building at the end of his shift, he found Laura waiting for him outside once more. He groaned and took the other exit, hoping she hadn't seen him. She might have had good intentions, but he just wanted to get home as quickly as possible.

When he finally got there, he realised he had made the right decision by doing so because, as the elevator doors slipped open, he found Stan sat on the floor outside their apartment, leaning against the wall and sleeping.

Kyle first let out a sigh of relief and thanked God he was safe, and then he stepped forward before the doors could close on him. He unlocked and opened the door, then bent down next to Stan to put his friends arm around his shoulder to gently lift him up. Stan groaned at the disturbance.  
"Shh, Stan, come on, let's get you to bed" he spoke quietly, and Stan sleepily complied. Kyle shut and locked the door behind them before leading Stan to his bedroom, it seemed like he was doing this too often.

As soon as Stan lay down, he fell asleep. Kyle doubted if he was even aware of what had just happened. Kyle sighed and frowned, heading to the kitchen. It looked like he would be eating dinner alone tonight.


End file.
